The Healing Power Of Positive Touch
I am a Reiki Master Teacher, I have had a private Reiki practice for 20 plus years. I have seen miracles right before my eyes. People from all over the country have come to me for a session, each with the intention of healing for their bodies, minds and spirits. Some of these people have no one other than me who touches them, some don’t have families, some don’t have partners or lovers and some are simply in a touches relationship.
I have witnessed their bodies melt the minute they feel my touch, their energy literally takes a deep breath of relief. The relief of finally being touched in a positive healing way washes over them and for their time with me they are able to experience bliss, relief, joy, healing, pleasure and love. The healing power of touch is incredible. We know touch is essential for babies’ development for their physical, emotional and eventually social health. In fact touch is the first of the five senses to develop. The need for positive touch, the connection, and reassurance it can bring is literally in our DNA. We are wired for touch, from young to old, we need it!
I was getting a pedicure this week and sitting next to me was a 94 year old woman, she was also getting a pedicure and the entire time she kept saying “Ahhhh that feels so good, I feel like I have died and gone to heaven” she even fell asleep in the complete bliss of another's positive touch. If heaven is no more than the bliss of pleasure, count me in!
There is a deep inner need in each of us for non-sexual touch. Our breath even changes when we are touched, we take a deep sigh. Think of the person in your life who gives to that awesome healing hug every time you see them. Holding a hug for 20 seconds brings about a change in brain chemistry. Hugging increases levels of the “love hormone” oxytocin it also reduces the levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Hug more, feel better, live longer. It’s all very scientific, giving and receiving more hugs lowers the amounts of immunity weakening stress, so increasing the amount of embraces you engage in will help protect against infection and stave off colds and flu. Hugging can balance your chakras and meridians. Positive touch wakes up your energy, makes you feel alive. You can start healing by simply holding on to you next hug for a few seconds more!
If you are a person who is not touched often I suggest you receive a Reiki session, or a massage, or even pedicures.
For those of you who have a loving person in your life who you want to connect with on a deeper level and want to heal with, I suggest a chakra connecting hug. Hug your person touching each of your chakras together, you can look into each others eyes or close your eyes whichever feels better. Then breathe deeply, you can even exchange breath with each other. Now feel your chakras begin to warm, feel how your breathing relaxes. Hold this position for a few minutes, visualize your chakras connecting, see the red of your root, the orange of your sacral, the yellow of your solar plexus, the green of your heart, the light blue of your throat, the indigo of your third eye and the violet of your crown all beautiful and bright. If you have had your eyes closed, be sure to open them and look into your partners eyes to seal the energy at the end. This hug can be a prelude to Tantric Love.
So, I am trying to understand men. When I talk to heterosexual men about all of the wonderful masturbation tools I offer, their typical response is "I don't need that, I have my hand". I am always amazed at their un-openness and unwillingness to make their sex lives better! It's interesting however that gay men are much more open and willing to expand their sex lives. In my experience, gay men are so in tune and confident in their sexuality this must be because they have had to endure the criticism of society and have had to honor who they are, this has liberated their souls.
I asked a sexy, beautiful, heterosexual man who is very grounded in his sexuality and uses the sex tools himself the question "why are heterosexual men closed to masturbation tools?". His response made so much sense!
He said "It's not the norm, masturbation is still a taboo, so men hide and jack off with their hand, if they had a toy it would be known they were masturbating. Heterosexual men think vibrators are associated with women, by having a guybrator it indicates you're either gay, bisexual or incapable of getting laid or having a female partner. It really fucks with their ego. Most guys don't talk about masturbation with their friends like women do. We need to make it a norm for men to have guybrators, right now it's not the norm, it's not a universal hip heterosexual guy thing to do. It has to become an accepted thing amongst heterosexual men. In most men's lives there are two factors that dictate what they do, peer pressure or a problem. Peer pressure or a problem dictate them trying new things, peer pressure and problems also prevent them from being who they are. Once heterosexual men discover guybrators are a self pleasure tool and it's the norm they will use them. Most men watch porn to please themselves, why not have a personal tool to help enhance your self pleasure. Men are taking pills to help them be harder and last longer in bed and that's only because it became acceptable and the cool thing to do, it was through peer pressure that this happened because it enhanced their male ego, it made them better. At one point having a beard was not the cool thing to wear, until men started to see athletes like LeBron James and James Harden wearing full beards. Men realized women found full beards attractive and so, it became the norm. Most men know their woman has a vibrator, or several and that's the norm for women, men need toys to be their norm as well. Men need to put their egos aside and get in touch with their sexuality, this in turn will make them better lovers and being good in bed is a huge ego stroke for men."
Like I said, his response makes so much sense! Let's make self pleasure tools as normal as the beard!
ORAL TIPS FOR THE CLIT!
•A woman is more sensitive so begin with less
•Kiss and lick the inside of her thighs to create sexual anticipation
•Explore the entire outside of the vagina with circular tongue motions
•Suck on her labia (vaginal lips) gently
•Use long lapping motions with your tongue from her vaginal opening to her clitoris
•Flick your tongue over her clitoris, alternating from up and down and side to side
•Slip one or two fingers inside her vagina as you gently lick her clitoris
•Make humming sounds with your lips so they vibrate the clitoris
•When she is on the verge of orgasm, make your lips into an O and take her clitoris in your mouth sucking gently •Don’t change the rhythm of your motion when she is climaxing !
Men: Wanting Your Lover To Go Down on You?
• Prepare your genitals by bathing and even shaving your testicles
• Talk about oral sex before you get into it
• Explain in detail what you like and ask her what she thinks
• Tell her how good it makes you feel when she kisses you there, because women love to know they impact you emotionally
• Allow her to get psyched up about the experience first so she is just as excited as you
• Create a relaxed atmosphere with candles and/or music to set the mood
• Provide different flavored lubes for a better taste
• Discuss whether your lover would like to swallow, not swallow, deep, throat or not deep throat. This will ensure no surprises that will make anyone feel uncomfortable
ORAL TIPS FOR THE TIP 💋
•For “Deep Throating” keep your head back and let him straddle you
•If you suffer from the “Gag Reflex”, leave your tongue outside of your mouth
•Put his penis inside of your cheeks to avoid the “Gag Reflex”
•Always use your hands in addition to your mouth
•Lick and lap his raphe with the flat of your tongue (underside/seam of his penis and scrotum)
•Change your rhythm from long, slow sucking to short, fast, milking action
•Shake and wiggle his penis in your mouth
•Hold the base tight while making spiral motions around the tip
•Gently tug his scrotum while sucking him from the shaft to the tip
• Wrap beads around his scrotum tugging gently while
• Stroke his penis lovingly with your hair and your face
• Gargle with mouthwash or suck on a mint prior to oral sex for a tingle
• Don’t change your rhythm just before he climaxes unless he asks you to
• Ask him how he wants to be sucked; gently, hard, slow, fast, deep
So, what does a man look for in a partner?
Generally speaking men look for someone who is:
Openly Communicative Someone who takes initiative
Someone adventurous Who shows affection Someone thoughtful Open-mindedness Self-confidence Who shows appreciation
Is comfortable to be with
Male Generalizations To Keep In Mind:
Men tend to focus on achievement and accomplishment.
Men have 20 times more testosterone (male sex hormone) than women. Testosterone is linked to assertive and dominant behavior.
Men’s fantasies include images of sexual body parts and they focus on orgasm.
Men’s primary sense is visual, which is why so many men enjoy watching porn.
Men’s fantasies include images of sexual body parts.
Men like to hear graphic sexual words during sex.
Modern man still has the innate programming from his caveman era to hunt and spread his seed.
It takes us being vulnerable, receptive and honest to truly connect with another person. Vulnerability is simply being open and not hiding behind past hurt, it is the ability to be honest about who you are, with another person to share yourself regardless or whether or not you have been rejected in the past. Just because you were rejected before doesn’t mean you will be again. Just because you rejected someone in the past doesn’t mean you will reject this new person.
Receptivity is simply having a willingness and an open-mind about getting to know another person, receiving their thoughts, opinions and ideas and being open to receiving love regardless of past hurts.
In order to connect with someone, you need to be completely open without bringing past hurts to the table. Just because you were hurt in the past by someone doesn’t mean this person will also hurt you and vice versa. We learn from our past both positives and negatives, it is important to be grateful for all of our lessons, the good and the bad, it is imperative not to get stuck in the past though.
When we truly have a connection with someone, it sparks a passion within us, we want to spend time with this person, the connection inspires us to be our best self, we want to hear all about their day. We want to know them inside and out, their feelings, thoughts, likes, and dislikes are important to us. We truly become invested in them emotionally mentally and physically. It truly is important to connect with a person who energizes you!
The energy of connection is powerful, it is the beginning of creation. When we link energetically with someone the power to create amplifies. When two or more people put their creative energy toward a common goal, there is a tremendous power, the ability to manifest is by far greater!
If you are in a long term romantic relationship, take inventory of your connection. If you have noticed a disconnect, make the decision to re-ignite it. It will take vulnerability and receptivity to talk honestly with your partner about how you feel and what you think about your connection. Be receptive to their thoughts and feelings as well. Then create a game plan on steps to take to rebuild your connection.